An incredible but true story
What could be said should be said and what should not be said should be left unsaid. This particular line for me is one of the tag lines that I keep by heart. It seems that it practically works on awkward moments as well as in any endeavors that I may take up. Not that I should not have confidence in myself but more for self preservation. In this occasion, a nasty but hilarious, nonetheless, event had occurred in my life where this particular tagline had came to be formulated.
Let me relate then the incident. It was a clear day when I had the opportunity in participating in a lively conversation with my friends. This simple bantering was a natural occurrence when I suddenly blurted something that is way beyond the scope of what I might call healthy exchange of words, for my friends’ ears that is. The topic of the day was homosexuality and knowing a few snippets of the subject matter, I have tried my best to casually carry on the conversation under the convention that it would be just another topic that would be forgotten, or not, the next day. In all the days of my life, I had never become as pink as I was that day; I did not even know I could blush that much. I had blurted out that I had a lesbian girlfriend. This not of a taboo among the circle of friends I am with but this definitely caught fire and I got burned along the way. This particular subject was not taboo since each of us had different opinions about it and we try to open up with what we really think about the topic. Respect would be one of the values that we have as friends and the open mindedness that could be carried out to almost any issue that we could think about. This is the chemistry that had bound as together as friends. The choices that each of us would make or made would be scrutinized equally or fairly. Where was the part where I should have left unsaid? Not actually here but the things that I had left unsaid was the part that girlfriend in my book definitely means girl friend. In writing, it all makes sense but orally relaying such information would make a difference.
What happened before that was an event that I could not forget. Having met this friend from a friend, a conversation ensued between the two of us. It seems to me then that despite sexual orientation and preference, there is still this one think that could bind a person from another individual. After this lengthy conversation, we realized that the barrier between mere acquaintances had been lifted from an hour or two of foraging between what we know in life. I have learned that this particular girl friend had my same interests in the daily activities that we do. We had the chemistry, obviously, but not in the physical sense. We had already deduced or concluded that part after thirty minutes of chatting. Regardless of what others may think, this seems to be one of the mysteries in life –the mystery of finding a person and after an hour would make you feel a certain kinship or connection that could not be lost if the communication was kept.
Just like this certain kinship that I had with my circle of friends. We usually have mindless or exciting and sometimes aimless conversations. In this particular aspect though, what could be asserted is the fact that I did not have the opportunity to string together words that ought to have been taken differently. I could just remember what a philosopher had to say with this given circumstance. Wittgenstein had a certain discussion about language games and it is my ardent desire that I had this in mind before blurting out the two, or in my case three, words. Wittgenstein believed that language games happen when there is a certain understanding between the people who are having a certain conversation (Shawver, 2007). It was believed that the people using a certain language must have the understanding of what was talked about and apparently my friends lost me after I had blurted out the words. To add more insult to the injury, they started jeering and sniggering about it. It did not make sense to me and I felt that I had gone to another place and was having a conversation with people that I do not actually know. The blushing then came and the gushing went next as an attempt to explain myself. It took about thirty minutes to an hour to convince them that our connection got lost along the way. It is actually embarrassing and awkward thinking about it. Not because of the topic but the reactions that my friends had. There was actually silence before the jeering and sniggering started. To my dismay, I did not believe it to be the reactions that they may have but then, the vibrations were lost and the connection got lost too so the point of the conversation had also gone.
When I was sure that I had convinced my friends about the mistaken implication that they had about my statement, the conversation mellowed down and got diverted to other things. Remembering about it again, it became a hilarious circumstance especially when I could remember my pink face and then the heated discussion that I had with them about Wittgenstein’s language games. Another thing that could almost topple me off my seat is the individual reactions that my friends had. One of them had blank stares, two of them pretended to not care, one was baffled, and the other was working out to have a poker face despite the great pull of blurting out a question. After a few precious glimpse of what they could offer me as humor, they started to exclaim all at once what they have in mind. If I were not so busy figuring out what was amiss then I might have laughed at their expressions.
True to what I have mused earlier, the subject was left to a memorable day where most of my friends had looked at me like I would do upon looking at an incredible and rare species of fish in a tank. So now, I could clearly see that I should have said what I could have said and at the same time think about what I should be saying the next time. Ergo, it should then be the case that leaving things unsaid would create a commotion especially when it is a needed rejoinder to explicate further what was said earlier. Also, as an added bonus, a person should be careful and mindful of what should be said. I believe that what we say could be interpreted in different ways especially when the connection was lost along the way. And this is the reason that I find this story incredible, that a few minutes and few words could imply different meanings.
Shawver, L. (2007). On Wittgenstein’s Concept of a Language Game. Retrieved September 24, 2007, from http://www.california.com/~rathbone/word.htm