The most important quality of a married couple is love. In a marriage important issues such as attitudes, responsibilities, religion, finances, career, and whether or not to have children should be discussed so that the couple can learn each other’s views regarding the issues to determine compatibility. Building a happy marriage is the result of conscious effort on the part of a husband, and wife. A lifelong union that people bound together by a bond of love, which is spiritual as well as physical, can be considered marriage. Marriage is socially recognized, and approved union between individuals who give to one another with the expectation of a secure, and lasting personal relationship. ‘Most couples getting married today expect to remain married for the rest of their lives.’ (Bellah, 163) Consequently, over half of all the marriages in the United States end in divorce because most people lack of understanding of what it takes to stay married.
I believe that couples should become more aware of the commitment when they enter into marriage. Unfortunately, some couples do not want to face the reality and opt out for divorce “The lazy way of marital problems.” A selfish decision that puts personal happiness ahead of couple integrity. (Kingsolver, 123) Men and women should get to know one another completely before deciding to get married. In his essay “Love and Marriage” Robert Bellah stated “There may be reasons, both practical and romantic, for marrying the person one does, but they are almost afterthoughts. What matters is the growing sense that the relationship is natural, right. One does not so much choose as simply accept what already is.” (Bellah, 164) Love, communication, and acceptance of responsibilities are some important factors for the development of a good marriage.
Love is all about giving pleasure to another person without any thought for what we may get back for ourselves. That being said, love is the basis for lasting relationships. However, love must be focus on both because “The danger is that one will, in sharing too completely with another, ‘lose oneself.’ (Bellah, 164) Pleasing one another is the key to survive in a marriage. Having solid inherited love beliefs may help very much because you might have an idea of what you want for your marriage. Having the motivation, patience, and desire to face anything is very important to succeed in a marriage. Robert Bellah explained in his essay “Love and Marriage” that “ The love that must hold us together is rooted in the vicissitudes of our subjectivity.” (Bellah, 163) Love is the sustaining fuel for a healthy marriage because without love there is no way that you can remain in a marriage. Although love is important, communication is very essential to support a marriage too. People don’t understand the cause of the conflicts in their marriages.
Communication is one of the main complements to nourish a marriage. Communication is a very serious skill that we all should have. Not only to express ourselves to others and the world, but to succeed in every aspect of our lives. As a married woman, I know that communication between you and your partner is crucial. You have to please each other and agreed on everything because if you don’t you will either live unhappy or your marriage will fail. In her essay “Love and Marriage” Robert Bellah explained that “In a world of independent individuals who have no necessary obligations to one another, and whose needs may or may not mesh, the central virtue of love–indeed the virtue that some times replaces the ideal of love—is communication.” (Bellah, 173) Although communication is the foundation of a good marriage, responsibilities are part and play an important role too. Responsibilities are part, and must be taken seriously from both sides of a marriage. In a relationship love involves obligations too. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, and ironing are chores that men can complete too.
As well as the women can work, pay bills and the rent, working together and helping each other will make things easier. Once you’re married your spouse’s problems becomes yours. That is why you are a couple, you must learn how to work together, and help each other. Having the support and comprehension of your love one, will make each other, and your relation ship stronger. In marriage is important to feel the support of your partner. Marriage is about two not one. In his essay “Love and marriage” Robert Bellah wrote “But spending a lifetime together also means that one can count on one’s partner. ‘I guess the big thing is that it’s a permanent relationship between two people where they support each other all they way through life, working as a team.’” (Bellah, 168)
To conclude, having the experience of being married I have to say that love, communication, and responsibilities are the strongest foundation to build a successful marriage. I knew my husband for two weeks, and now eight years later I can tell you that marriage is one of the most beautiful things that could ever happen to me. It may be hard to find the right person to marry, but sometimes crazy, beautiful life might surprise you and just put the right person in front your eyes. Yes, life might be complicated, but it also will be bored without complications. To get marry could be a hard decision to make, and could change your life completely, but you should not be scared. Love, communication, and responsibilities were always part of your life. Once married you are not alone any more they are part of your relationship, and must be completed no matter what. The good thing is that you have someone to count on no matter what.